Thoughts: Chain Reaction

For the first time, I was moody because of the lack of exercise. Particularly because I could not run for more than a week.

Long story short: right foot and knee was giving different soreness and pain on different days and time. A whole new experience. I have never had this before. 

The funny thing is, I can live with the soreness and the pain. (You know how people always say pain is weakness leaving your body? Uh-huh… so we all like a little pain here there) And why haven’t I gone to see the doctor? Well I was trying to ‘feel’ what’s the real problem (After all the reading it seems to be typical runner’s problem but I doubt so) and I have scheduled to see a specialist for scan this week. (he was away, hence the wait)

I realised that no being able to do the simple routine was the cause for stress. Though I don’t run daily, I do lace up at least three to four times a week, that is my secret to sanity. Then it’s yoga. Even all I do is once or twice a week, yet I can’t do it. Yes, yoga is extremely good for muscles pull and so on, but not when I am not able to fold the knee properly. Only managed one session of short leisure swim.

I can’t help but noticed my mood change, that I was going deeper into a corner everyday. I refused to go out. I became restless and less productive. Given the time I had on hand, I should be able to finish more articles, but I was feeling so uninspired. My writing hauled for a week.

So uninspired.

Uninspired to the extend of eating blindly and wasting away precious work time. 

Now I understand how it feels. How the old folks feel. How sudden immobility can caused all kinds of emotional instability. I’m sorry that I didn’t understand it sooner. But now I do. 

Now I know if I’m not careful, every bit of negative energy will creep into my brain while I nurse the pain in my body. Now I know though I take care of my body, I need to do more. Now I know, nothing comes easy. Even just for a short run.

Thank you Universe for this early message. 

I wish everyone a healthy journey through life.  

无法跑步的十几天,突然打乱了我的生活。还以为本来就很随性生活着的我,并不会为了这样一点小事而折腾,可是因为右脚突然间有着从未感受过的疼痛以至不能跑步,让我很挫折。那种感受和你健康时却不去跑步是两种截然不同的感觉。无法选择的时候会让人觉得无奈和疼痛。

我第一次有一种无法说清楚的沮丧,原来我已经在不知不觉中爱上了、习惯了跑步啊。原来我想要用双脚带领自己身体向前走的渴望比我想像中更根深蒂固。即使只是五公里也是释放,即使比别人慢也是让我快乐的泉源。

现在我终于明白行动不便的朋友、老人家和从健康到病重的朋友的心情了:一种无法选择和无可奈何的心情。我在这十几天里从“没事的” 到请朋友打电话去预约高明医生,从像平日一样到颓废大吃和熬夜,从写一篇文章到根本不想动脑筋,我终于明白到那些积极和病魔抗战的朋友是多么地勇敢,坚持真的不是一件简单的事;因为任何时候一不小心,那个负面恶魔就会把你推向深渊。

感激疼痛让我感受到身体的呼叫。

用我感激之情祝福每一位朋友身体健康。

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